The Real Slim Shady
Lyrics Eminem

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[Eminem]
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here..

Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
And started whoopin' her ass worse than before
They first were divorce, throwin' her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem
{*Vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga*}
"Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin' around grabbin' his you-know-what
Flippin' the you-know-who", "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin' on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes {*Slurp*}
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
{*Ewww*} But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

[Chorus: Eminem (x2)]
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?

[Eminem]
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
Well I do, so f*ck him and f*ck you too!
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Sh*t, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
You little b*tch, put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
I should download her audio on MP3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD (Ahhh!)
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you {*Bzzzt*}
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me; who just don't give a f*ck like me
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

[Chorus (x2)]
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?

[Eminem]
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin' you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
In front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it {*Err*} I just sh*t it
Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like Valiums
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin' when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursin' home flirting
Pinchin' nurses asses when I'm jackin' off with Jergens
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin'
He could be workin' at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings
{*Hach*} Or in the parkin' lot, circling
Screaming "I don't give a f*ck!"
With his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

[Chorus (x4)]
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?

[Eminem]
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
F*ck it, let's all stand up

Song facts

"The Real Slim Shady" is a hip hop song written by Eminem for his third album The Marshall Mathers LP (2000). It was released as the lead single a week before the album's release. The song was later released in 2005 on Eminem's greatest hits album Curtain Call: The Hits.

"The Real Slim Shady" was Eminem's first song to reach number one on the UK Singles Chart and it also peaked at number four on the Billboard Hot 100, giving him his biggest hit up to that point. The song was the 11th best selling of 2000 in the UK. It won multiple awards, including MTV Video Music Awards for Best Video and Best Male Video, as well as a Grammy Award for Best Rap Solo Performance.

The music video features Eminem performing the song in a psychiatric ward, a local Detroit neighborhood nearside a park, a fast-food joint, the Grammy Awards, and even in a factory where multiple clones of the rapper are produced. The video also features cameo appearances by Dr. Dre, D12, a lookalike of Kid Rock, Fred Durst, a lookalike of Carson Daly, Kathy Griffin, lookalikes of Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, and even a stuffed Bill the Cat doll can also be seen being held in possession by one of the mental patients in the hospital scenes.

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