Eight Easy Steps
Lyrics Alanis Morissette

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How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment
How to defer to men in solvable predicaments
How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you
How to have that not work and have them run away from you

How to keep people at arm's length and never get too close
How to mistrust the ones you supposedly love the most
How to pretend you're fine and don't need help from anyone
How to feel worthless unless you're serving or helping someone

I'll teach you all this in eight easy steps
A course of a lifetime you'll never forget
I'll show you how to in eight easy steps
I'll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best

How to hate women when you're supposed to be a feminist
How to play all pious when you're really a hypocrite
How to hate God when you're a pray-er and a spiritualist
How to sabotage your fantasies by fears of success

I'll teach you all this in eight easy steps
A course of a lifetime you'll never forget
I'll show you how to in eight easy steps
I'll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best

I've been doing research for years
I've been practicing my ass off
I've been training my whole life for this moment, i swear to you
Culminating just to be this well-versed leader before you

I'll teach you all this in eight easy steps
A course of a lifetime you'll never forget
I'll show you how to in eight easy steps
I'll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best

How to lie to yourself and thereby to everyone else
How to keep smiling when you're thinking of killing yourself
How to numb a la holic to avoid going within
How to stay stuck in blue by blaming them for everything

I'll teach you all this in eight easy steps
A course of a lifetime you'll never forget
I'll show you how to in eight easy steps
I'll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best

I'll teach you all this in eight easy steps
A course of a lifetime you'll never forget
I'll show you how to in eight easy steps
I'll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best

Song facts

"Eight Easy Steps" is a rock song written by Alanis Morissette for her sixth studio album So-Called Chaos. The album's opening track, it was released in 2004 as the So-Called Chaos's third single.

The song may be seen as discussing self-help, with the message that it is the "course of a lifetime", but the help that is actually "offered" in the song is ironical throughout, with lines like "How to lie to yourself and thereby to everyone else" or "How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you". The song reached number nine on the Billboard Hot Dance Music/Club Play and number twenty-seven on the Adult Top 40.

Stylus Magazine gave the song a negative review, finding it a "flaccid and innocuous" attempt to recreate the hard rock sound of her 1995 single "You Oughta Know". PopMatters disagreed, commenting that the chorus's "one shining moment of Alanis Anger" was one of the album's few energetic moments. The New York Times called the song "triumphant", and The Guardian found the song's distortion effective, as well as its "Nine Inch Nail-like metallic rage".

The song's music video was directed by Liz Friedlander. The video opens with a scene of Morissette performing with her backing band. It then presents sequences from Morissette's previous music videos, television appearances, and home videos in reverse chronological order. The scenes are digitally edited to create the appearance that Morissette had sung "Eight Easy Steps" in them. It took Morissette over 16 hours, to recreate her facial expressions from the clips. Friedlander commented that "It was eerie to watch the footage of present day Alanis run side by side with the early footage… Her ability to match her old actions was uncanny." The video peaked at #11 on the VH1 Top 20 Video Countdown.

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